Victorian State Election 2018: Meet Pascoe Vale Independent Francesco Timpano!

I don’t have time to read all of this!
The Basics

Facebook page:
Or possibly:

(I’ve spent ten minutes trying to figure out whether the second one is a parody or not, and I honestly can’t tell.  It has a lot of the same material, and is very much in the same style.  It’s slightly more grandiose, but really only slightly, and not actually out of character…)

Having said that… it’s a very, um, distinctive style, and I suspect it could be imitated pretty easily.  Having said *that*, who would bother?)

Themes: The Moreland City Council is Corrupt!  The Greens are criminals!  Conspiracy theories abound!

With friends like these…
How to Vote Card

Timpano has put Oscar Yildiz in second place, followed by the ALP.  The Liberal candidate is in 4th place, followed by Animal Justice, the Victorian Socialists, John Kavanagh and the Greens.

I recall from the last election that he really *hates* the Greens; it looks like Kavanagh (the current Moreland mayor) is also on his shit-list.

The Body Politic
Policies, Snark, Terrible Theme Songs and Other Observations

Francesco Timpano is a regular on the Moreland City Council / Pascoe Vale / Wills election circuit, though I don’t think he’s ever actually gotten up.  I suspect that he has a gift for offending people – he does turn up last on a lot of how to vote cards, and he has had run-ins with several people I know.  I have written about him many times before.

This time is much more exciting because I literally can’t tell whether he now has two Facebook Pages with a lot of overlapping material, or whether someone is parodying him.  If they are, they are being very subtle – maybe a bit too subtle.  The only real difference is that the second page is marked ‘Performance Art Theatre / Politician’ and calls him ‘Francesco Timpano Thinker Politician & Architect to the Very Rich & Worthy’.

Which sounds utterly ridiculous, and also sounds kind of exactly like the way Timpano writes when he is being serious so…

But first, let’s take a look at Timpano’s official How to Vote Card, which has been lodged with the VEC and is definitely him.  It’s also on both Facebook pages.

The card is liberally decorated with Australian flags and has a Facebook symbol in the corner, which isn’t as helpful as he thinks it is.  Timpano also really likes yellow highlighter and capital letters.

Here is the text, in all its glory.  I’ve bolded the bits that are highlighted in yellow.  :

Vote 1 Francesco Timpano – Your voice in Parliament
SOME candidates don’t live in the area!
  • Sack Moreland Council & replace it with administrator & conduct a full audit
  • Free Public Transport
  • Eliminate Poverty
  • Eliminate Homelessness
  • Abolish Stamp Duty on Principal Place of Residence, homes
  • Abolish Land Tax on Residential
  • Re-establish a manufacturing base
  • Cap & index Uni Fees at $45k, & Lift HECS income to $65kpa
We have some 2.5+ million in poverty & 110,000+ homeless. We don’t need left wing extremists to destroy what we have all worked for.
A local Resident of 19 years
– Designer of the Gates of Chinatown Melbourne
– Architect & Forensic & High Security Building Consultant
– Former lecturer in Building Contract Law & Critical Path
– Master Planner for the Future Law Courts in Victoria
– Rescinded CPD for Architects saves Victoria $36+M annually
So my first thought is that we now know why he has put John Kavanagh, the current Mayor of Moreland, last on his ticket (and why Kavanagh has reciprocated).  My second thought is that for someone who hates left-wing extremists, he has some fairly left-wing policies.   My third thought is that he Timpano is not one of the world’s clear thinkers.
… My fourth thought is that I’m pretty sure he didn’t design the gates of Chinatown, and that this should be discoverable.  And yeah, this article would seem to indicate that he had nothing to do with it.
Edited to add: Mr Timpano has commented below with the following statement:
“Yes I Francesco Timpano am the designer of the Gates of Chinatown in Little Bourke St Melbourne. The article you presented is factually wrong, a fake and FYI they were not constructed in 1976. I designed the Gates that were built and still there and have the drawing and witnesses. I consider your claim defamatory and evil in intent.
There are, I think, several good policies in there – and Timpano clearly has a passion for social justice – but the loopiness surrounding them is a bit concerning.
OK, back to the conundrum of the Facebook page, where a little more delving finds me a bunch of confused commenters trying to work out whether the site is satirical or not.   You know, it’s a very bad sign when someone creates a ludicrous Facebook Page in your name and nobody can tell whether it’s actually satire.  Having said that, his interactions with commenters on that page sound serious and normal.  I… actually think it’s real.  Which is a bit scary.

Here, for example is his reply to someone asking how he will fund free public transport, eliminate poverty and homelessness and re-establish a manufacturing base.

1. A purge of waste & bad practices would be enough e.g. . 2. Waste in the state public sector is huge, they all still work on the basis they have to spend more or their budgets or next year they will get less. 3. My experience on Public housing is the briefs are over the top and must be redefined. Most well paid people could not afford to live in new Public Housing & this has been the case for decades. Ryan there is so much fat in public works, unbelievable. We the taxpayers are shortchanged at all levels through bad decisions…. it’s a long list and it’s doable without any increase in taxes. Note if Dan flushed $1,500,000,000.00 down the drain on his first day and we are still in surplus that says much.

This, incidentally, is about as clear as Timpano gets on his policies.  Or on anything.  Most of the rest of both Facebook pages are rants.

Here, for your delectation, are some recent ones:

From November 17:

From November 7:

From October 26:

Someone does not like the Greens.  Or the Moreland City Council.

Recurring themes are that global warming is a conspiracy, a scam and a swindle; that Greens=Socialists=Communists=Poverty; that council rates are too high (which is the fault of the Greens); that Kavanagh and Yildiz are terrible; that the other candidates have been ‘parachuted in’ (with illustrations!) and that Timpano is the only true local; and that the Greens are opening the floodgates and letting in thousands of economic refugees.

Yeah, I’m not quite sure where to go with this one.  I mean, clearly Timpano is a man of many conspiracy theories.  And anyone whose posts are so bizarre that it requires extensive study of his comments to figure out whether he is for real or a parody is… not someone that I would advise you to vote for, regardless of which way his politics lay.

I do find the fact that he is calling himself a performance artist as well as a politician, because that actually does make slightly more sense of the bizarre things he says.

I mean, maybe I’ve been reading him wrong all along.  Maybe Timpano is a really, REALLY committed performance artist, who has been developing this character for a decade or more, the better to troll the left side of politics?

Or not.  I mean, serious or not, he is a conspiracy theorist who makes bizarre accusations against his opponents.  And who makes equally bizarre claims about himself.

I really don’t think you should vote for him, OK?

14 thoughts on “Victorian State Election 2018: Meet Pascoe Vale Independent Francesco Timpano!

  1. Once upon a time I worked for a place that, among other things, hosted people’s websites. Excessive yellow highlighter was a certain tell. I said “Oh dear!” at that point in your summary, and then read further. Oh, dear.

  2. I’m curious about the prominent statement: “Rescinded CPD for Architects saves Victoria $36+M annually”. Is he saying that he’s given up on maintaining the Continuing Professional Development that allows his skills & knowledge to remain current, and which is probably necessary for him to continue to work as an accredited architect? Or is he saying that he plans to abolish the program? And how does it save Victoria money when, as far as I can tell, this is funded by an annual fee paid by the architects themselves? Boasting about not maintaining professional standards just seems very odd.

      • I repeat my question that appears to have been lost in your system.
        Who are you?
        What are your qualifications and credentials?
        Who are you registered with and accountable to?

    • I had Minister intervene who obviously agreed with my argument and rescind the introduced CPD scam because unlike others eg, the legal fraternity that received over 1,820 complaints a hear the ARBV received on average only one complaint a year and there is no basis for such a CPD scam, costs and waste of time just to fill the coffers of the RAIA. Capish!

    • Andrew, many years ago I was told by a university professor the average IQ of an Australian is that of a 13yo girl. I think he was grossly exaggerating.

  3. Yes I Francesco Timpano am the designer of the Gates of Chinatown in Little Bourke St Melbourne. The article you presented is factually wrong, a fake and FYI they were not constructed in 1976. I designed the Gates that were built and still there and have the drawing and witnesses. I consider your claim defamatory and evil in intent. Cate whatever your reasons are for your ongoing defaming of me will become a serious problem for you should you persist. Your undeclared racist and/or political bias and agenda of me is offensive. Stick to promoting idiots, fools and the inept. Take this as fair warning to desist writing anything further on me.

    • I have amended this article to add your reply regarding the Gates of Chinatown.

      As for the rest of your comment, I think my biases are pretty thoroughly declared in my Manifesto and elsewhere. I am sorry you find this post offensive. I did, in fact, quote you extensively – as I always do when writing about parties or independents who may not be well known to readers – and I think my readers are intelligent enough to work out on that basis whether they want to vote for you or not regardless of my commentary. (Trust me, nobody is wading through the tens of thousands of words I write about every political party and independent candidate at each election in order to blindly vote the way I tell them to…)

      I will not desist from writing about political parties and independent candidates in elections near me. However, you are always welcome to comment and correct any perceived inaccuracies.

      • Cate/Catherine,

        BTW, a quick & easy check of registered Architects in the state of Victoria would also have shown you that there is no T.W. Chu and Associates in the state of Victoria. Also, a read of the anonymous article would show there is no Architect attributed as the original Architect responsible for the Chinese Arches built in “1976”? Very poor work Cate. Still says much of your skills and does explain how you are easily confused not to mention the two MU doctoral students. Just look at what our education system is producing, very sad.

        Rest assured Cate, I am the Architect and author of much including the Gates of Chinatown in Little Bourke St Melbourne. I am constantly surprised at the number of talentless locals trying to take credit for my work.

  4. Cate, THE THING IS THIS, you deliberately chose to quote as true a dodgy and anonymous article and not even bother contacting me for comment before you published. That was amateurish and shows contempt for; the law, accepted practices, respect for others, and a wish to cause damage and harm. You have done the damage that can not be undone. As you also choose to hide behind anonymity on your web page I have instructed my people to get all your details. Should you ever mention my name or write about me directly or indirectly I will take action and hold you to account financially, I hope this will not be necessary. At this time I require from you a written apology prominently displayed on your web page regarding this matter and your baseless & defamatory statements where you claim I peddle ‘conspiracy theories’ where you again repeat your dodgy & illegal practices as stated above. I otherwise reserve all my rights. Now you have a good day.

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