I don’t have time to read all of this!
Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100006101358852
Or possibly: https://www.facebook.com/pages/category/Performance-Art-Theatre/Francesco-Timpano-Thinker-Politician-Architect-to-the-Very-Rich-Worthy-377430045757803/
(I’ve spent ten minutes trying to figure out whether the second one is a parody or not, and I honestly can’t tell. It has a lot of the same material, and is very much in the same style. It’s slightly more grandiose, but really only slightly, and not actually out of character…)
Having said that… it’s a very, um, distinctive style, and I suspect it could be imitated pretty easily. Having said *that*, who would bother?)
Themes: The Moreland City Council is Corrupt! The Greens are criminals! Conspiracy theories abound!
With friends like these…
How to Vote Card
Timpano has put Oscar Yildiz in second place, followed by the ALP. The Liberal candidate is in 4th place, followed by Animal Justice, the Victorian Socialists, John Kavanagh and the Greens.
I recall from the last election that he really *hates* the Greens; it looks like Kavanagh (the current Moreland mayor) is also on his shit-list.
The Body Politic
Policies, Snark, Terrible Theme Songs and Other Observations
Francesco Timpano is a regular on the Moreland City Council / Pascoe Vale / Wills election circuit, though I don’t think he’s ever actually gotten up. I suspect that he has a gift for offending people – he does turn up last on a lot of how to vote cards, and he has had run-ins with several people I know. I have written about him many times before.
This time is much more exciting because I literally can’t tell whether he now has two Facebook Pages with a lot of overlapping material, or whether someone is parodying him. If they are, they are being very subtle – maybe a bit too subtle. The only real difference is that the second page is marked ‘Performance Art Theatre / Politician’ and calls him ‘Francesco Timpano Thinker Politician & Architect to the Very Rich & Worthy’.
Which sounds utterly ridiculous, and also sounds kind of exactly like the way Timpano writes when he is being serious so…
But first, let’s take a look at Timpano’s official How to Vote Card, which has been lodged with the VEC and is definitely him. It’s also on both Facebook pages.
The card is liberally decorated with Australian flags and has a Facebook symbol in the corner, which isn’t as helpful as he thinks it is. Timpano also really likes yellow highlighter and capital letters.
Here is the text, in all its glory. I’ve bolded the bits that are highlighted in yellow. :
- Sack Moreland Council & replace it with administrator & conduct a full audit
- Free Public Transport
- Eliminate Poverty
- Eliminate Homelessness
- Abolish Stamp Duty on Principal Place of Residence, homes
- Abolish Land Tax on Residential
- Re-establish a manufacturing base
- Cap & index Uni Fees at $45k, & Lift HECS income to $65kpa
Here, for example is his reply to someone asking how he will fund free public transport, eliminate poverty and homelessness and re-establish a manufacturing base.
1. A purge of waste & bad practices would be enough e.g. . 2. Waste in the state public sector is huge, they all still work on the basis they have to spend more or their budgets or next year they will get less. 3. My experience on Public housing is the briefs are over the top and must be redefined. Most well paid people could not afford to live in new Public Housing & this has been the case for decades. Ryan there is so much fat in public works, unbelievable. We the taxpayers are shortchanged at all levels through bad decisions…. it’s a long list and it’s doable without any increase in taxes. Note if Dan flushed $1,500,000,000.00 down the drain on his first day and we are still in surplus that says much.
This, incidentally, is about as clear as Timpano gets on his policies. Or on anything. Most of the rest of both Facebook pages are rants.
Here, for your delectation, are some recent ones:
From November 17:
From November 7:
From October 26:
Someone does not like the Greens. Or the Moreland City Council.
Recurring themes are that global warming is a conspiracy, a scam and a swindle; that Greens=Socialists=Communists=Poverty; that council rates are too high (which is the fault of the Greens); that Kavanagh and Yildiz are terrible; that the other candidates have been ‘parachuted in’ (with illustrations!) and that Timpano is the only true local; and that the Greens are opening the floodgates and letting in thousands of economic refugees.
Yeah, I’m not quite sure where to go with this one. I mean, clearly Timpano is a man of many conspiracy theories. And anyone whose posts are so bizarre that it requires extensive study of his comments to figure out whether he is for real or a parody is… not someone that I would advise you to vote for, regardless of which way his politics lay.
I do find the fact that he is calling himself a performance artist as well as a politician, because that actually does make slightly more sense of the bizarre things he says.
I mean, maybe I’ve been reading him wrong all along. Maybe Timpano is a really, REALLY committed performance artist, who has been developing this character for a decade or more, the better to troll the left side of politics?
Or not. I mean, serious or not, he is a conspiracy theorist who makes bizarre accusations against his opponents. And who makes equally bizarre claims about himself.
I really don’t think you should vote for him, OK?