Song: Silent Night (with apologies to Franz Gruber, though actually, he should apologise to me, because I’ve sung that song more times than anyone should ever have to)

Silent night, holy night,
Choir is calm, voices bright
Sops ethereal, tenors with flair
Audible altos and basses to spare
Sing this heavenly piece
Sing this heavenly piece

Silent night, holy night,
Voices break, sounding tight;
A capella was fine at the start
But now the altos have lost all heart
And where has the tenor gone?
Where has the tenor gone?

Silent night, holy night,
One verse left – end’s in sight!
Pastor calls us a heavenly choir
But each verse ends just a little bit higher…
Squeaking, Lord, of thy birth,
Squeaking, Lord, of thy birth,

Silent night, holy night
Almost done, hearts are light!
Basses bellow, but oh, so slow…
No conductor can help us now
At last, it’s over and done!
Finally over and done…